Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My brother

I was inspired by my brother to dedicate today’s post to him. Here are some of the funny things my brother has said over the years.

Me: “Did you just fart?”

My brother: “Dude, why are you freaking out about it? A fart is nature’s candy. It’s like an invisible raisin.”

My brother has said while talking to a stoner during a game of cornhole.

My brother: “Hey, you going pick up the sack?”

(The stoner just looks down at the ground)

My brother: “No, not your nut sack, the sack on the ground by your feet.”


My brother: “If anyone every hurts Jamie I’m going to get a pair of plyers, a box of matches and a candle.”

Me: “What are you going to do with that?”

My brother: “I don’t know but it sounds gruesome.”


My brother: “So, I had sex with an Eskimo last night.”

Me: “Really?”

My brother: “Yeah, she lives in my building and is on some exchange program down here.”


My brother: “I got an HJ from this Chinese girl in my program last night.”

Me: “Well, that’s good.”

My brother: “Yeah, she asked me why Americans had such big penises and then said that compared to one she saw in a dirty movie it was just ‘so so.’”

19 comments:

andrewpledger said...

"A fart is nature’s candy. It’s like an invisible raisin.” Nearly fell off my chair laughing, your brother sounds awesome.

jeebus said...

awwww, brothers

Banacek said...

The correct term is Inuit... just kidding! I guess she ate something other than fish that night. You know, Eskimo meaning fish-eater or raw meat eater and all... I'll just shut up now.

Screaming Hawk said...

Haha. Nice. These always crack me up. Keep it up

mtn said...

your brother seems to be a cool guy :)

Last Remaining Light said...

... Wow. Haha. Power to your brother.

Bassislv said...

lol, your brother is funny as hell

Lendo Khar said...

Lol at the conversation with the stoner.

!sense! said...

lololololololololol. Just so so. lol

Rabidmoose said...

Heh sounds like you have a cool brother.

Innovations said...

hahhah oh my god

coolblogger said...

Need to meet your brother

tetcrh said...

seems like a funny guy!!

Hom Diddly said...

lol your brother sounds like a funny guy!

EpitomeofStrange said...

Your brother sounds like a funny guy. Sex with an eskimo. LOL!

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Poor 'so so' penis man. Hahaha, excellent post. Made me think of my brother and his shenanigans...

Zahk! said...

Great stuff.

Patti D. said...

Very gross but funny

-DO- said...

your brother is a very funny guy

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